We used to be friends
by chloelovestvdspnhod
Summary: It's after the disaster at Mount Weather and Miller's got a secret. He knows Clarke from the Ark. He wants to help carry the burden of what she has done but she didn't walk back through the gate. He will do anything to find her and be there for her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a Miller/Clarke story, featuring the usually cast. I ship Bellarke so there will be their friendship.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

Bellamy walked back through the gate and I knew something was wrong and from the looks of everyone else's faces they did too. He was alone.

Clarke she wasn't there. She didn't come back in. When we were hiking back from Mount Weather I could see in her face the pain from what she did.

No one knew but me and Clarke were friends upon the Ark. Yes, she was best friends with Wells but with my dad being so high up in the guard I hung around Phoenix station a lot and I met the Chancellor's sin and head doctor's daughter. I could tell Wells wasn't really a fan of mine and I wasn't a fan of him but Clarke befriended me and we were close.

We were together at some point nearly everyday until her arrest. It was bull and everyone knew but she had to be contained apparently.

I didn't find out the reason she was arrested until she revealed it soon after we got to the ground. I had associated myself with Bellamy, with everything my dad taught aligned myself with the strongest.

Though we never became as we once were we became close as she and Bellamy started to work together and I got 'promoted' to second in command.

Whenever I saw Bellamy and Clarke work together or just generally interact or argue I felt a burning hot white sensation take over my body. I secretly knew it was jealousy as me and Clarke just to argue with each other but it was for fun and slightly flirty.

When I woke up in the mountain one of the first things I thought about was Clarke and if she was okay. I was in turmoil what would I do without her. When I saw Clarke again in the mountain alive and as well as can be it was the exact moment I realised I was undoubtedly in love with the Princess, Clarke Griffin.

After she escaped alone, because I didn't believe her and just wanted her safe, the days passed in a big jumble through my mind. Then Bellamy turned up and next thing I knew we had escaped but not without sacrificing her soul and releasing the radiation.

I don't think any less of her, in fact I'm proud of her she did what she needed to do to save her people but no one should've had to make that decision especially not a teenager and then live with the suffocating guilt. I want nothing more than to help carry that burden.

Bellamy looks completely defeated. I see Raven, Monty, Wick, Octavia and Lincoln run up to Bellamy, no Jasper because he blames Clarke and is mourning Maya. I run up to and gear them all asking where she is. Monty sounds so desperate to know where she is. They became really close and I know he feels really guilty for not believing Clarke straight away.

I stand straight in front of Bellamy at eye level with what I know to be a stormy expression on my face, I grab his open shirt in an intimidating way and ground out "Where is she?" he looks startled at my action.

"I don't know" he replies.

"What do you mean you don't know Bellamy, you better tell me where she is now or I'll show you the reason I was arrested!" everyone looked shocked at my outburst after all the didn't know about my connection to Clarke nor the real me.

Bellamy looks at me and says "Why do care Miller? Why are you so concerned?".

I can't tell he's upset and it's the only reason he is acting like this but now I don't care I just have to know where Clarke is.

"Because I knew her on the Ark she is my closest friend and since being on the ground I haven't been there for her, and now she has to deal with the burden of what she has done and I know she doesn't want to share it with anyone, so she's going to play martyr and leave so I want to know where she is so I can go help her!" I basically screamed. I let it all out.

Bellamy looks at me in a state of shock, he definitely didn't expect any of that. "She walked back toward the woods."

I didn't wait for anymore information i stalked of toward Clarke. As I walked away I didn't see the looks of knowing given to me by my dad and Abby as they had overheard mine and Bellamy's confrontation.

I also didn't hear my group of friends reactions to the new piece of information they had received.

"Well I for one did definitely not see Clarke and Miller being friends especially not on the Ark." Raven said.

"Well his dad is high up on the guard so they were obviously around Phoenix station a lot and chances are they bumped into each other and became friends." Monty said supplying the exact way Nathan Miller and Clarke Griffin became friends.

"Yeah, but me and Raven are Clarke's closest friends why wouldn't she tell us?" Octavia asked.

"I knew," said Wick, the other turned to him in confusion and prompting him to continue, "I knew Joke, I was his apprentice and Clarke was a daddy's girl so she spent a lot of time in the engineers station and she brought Miller when her dad was extra busy, so she didn't get lonely. You could tell by their interactions they were really close."

"Wow!" was they only response whispers around the circle that had formed.

"When me and Clarke where travelling," Lincoln started, "She talked about a boy upon the Ark she was friends with that came down with her but they weren't really friends down here but started to become close again before the war happened. And now that boy has been revealed to be Miller. He better bring Clarke home safe, not just for you guys but because she became a very good friend." everyone was shocked Clarke had revealed that to Lincoln.

Lincoln wasn't finishing sharing which shocked everyone as they had never heard talk so much, "I saw they way Clarke talked about him and now how Miller talked about Clarke," he took a breath and stated in a matter of fact tone that couldn't be argued with, "It is obvious that they're in love with each other."

* * *

 **A/N: There will be plenty of pairings in this story and maybe multiple POVs. If anyone has any ideas who I could pair Bellamy, Monty and maybe Jasper to please let me know. Also leave honest reviews, thank you xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Inspiration is like an irregular period, it comes and goes when it wants and it can either be loaded or light, so now after that disturbing metaphor on why I haven't updated in so long, i'm sorry but enjoy xoxo**

* * *

Miller POV

I ran out of the gate and stopped breathing heavily, I looked around trying to find even the slightest trace of golden locks. I couldn't see any and it almost brought me to tears, she couldn't have gone that far. Which way should I head, I'll carry straight on and if I can't find I'll look somewhere else and carry on until I've found Clarke and told her I loved her and be there for her.

Clarke POV

I had to leave it was best for everyone, I was a mass murderer and I didn't deserve any of them as my friends. I already miss everyone like crazy, especially my closest friends but I can't help but miss Nathan more than the rest. It hurt when he pretty much ignored me when we first came down here, but we were becoming friends again then Mount Weather happened and I haven't really seen him since. God I miss him. I just want to see him, oh god I didn't even say goodbye, he probably hates me. I can't have him hate me because... Because... Because I'm in love with him. SHIT! I'm in love with my used to be best friend and Bellamy's second. Bellamy. Poor Bellamy, I mean I only see him as a friend but I know he has feelings that can be sometimes more than a friend for me.

Clarke, I scolded myself, if I'm gonna get better and forgive myself, not any time soon, I need to put my love life go the back of my head.

I know people think I slept with Finn because of Wells but I really slept with him because I saw a girl come out of Miller's tent and I think it broke me. Oh god Clarke just shut up I shouted at myself.

I wasn't paying attention so I didn't hear the twigs snapping as something raced towards me. I quickly turned behind a tree and unsheathed my sword waiting to see what it was and if I should attack.

Miller POV

I ran into the forest not caring if I was being heard. I swear I heard the angelic voice of my dreams mumbling so I followed at a speed I've only ran at when there was acid fog.

I heard light breathing so I turn and there was my beautiful angel. "Clarke," I whispered.

"Nathan." she breathed with a wide smile, I couldn't help but give her one of my own.

"I couldn't let you do this alone Clarke, you were wrong, I can see it in you face that you think that we don't need you, that I don't need you. I know you're struggling with what you've done but I want to help you, no, I need to help you because I," She tried to interrupt me but I held up my hand to stop her. " I love you Clarke, I have probably loved you since the Ark but I only realised when we came down here and I saw you helping people. I know you're thinking but I've killed people too but you did that to save our people. It was the right thing to do and I vow to help you fotlrgive yourself." I finished with a deep breath waiting for her to push me away and say she doesn't feel the same.

She looked a me with a smile and couldn't tell if it was because she felt the same or if it was pity. "Thank god, I thought I was just me that felt that way and I would really like if you were with me and helped me through this," I smiled so wide I couldn't believe that she felt the same and wanted me to help her. "I love you Nathan David Miller up in the Ark you were my sun and down here you were my universe."

"Well you were my whole universe both up there and down here so I got you beat there." I said with a laugh but my eyes sparkled with so much love.

We walked closer together, our bodies touching, feeling each others breathe on our faces. We moved our heads closer so our noses were touching, her breathing hitched. I bent my head a little more and connected our lips.

We sucked each others lips lost in our own world, anything could happen andbhelped wouldn't notice. My tongue ran across her lips begging for entrance and she more than happily complied. Our bodies were molded together and my hands were tangled in her curls, her hands scraped the back of my neck and shoulders keeping me close. One of my hands travelled to the small of her back keeping her to me. Our tongues fought for dominance but I won, it was heavenly, I could do this forever. But we had to breathe, our foreheads rested against each other as we breathed heavily.

We were so caught up in each other that we only just heard the approaching footsteps.

We separated and withdrew our weapons and we're on alert, we tensed as the mysterious person approached. Lincoln appeared through the trees, smiling as he took in our ruffled appearance and stolen lips. He chuckled and said "It's about time I've been waiting for this since I found out you too used to be friends." We all chuckled, I could we would all become really close.

"Why are you here?" Clarke questioned curious, so was I, I left him and the others behind before.

"Well it's not good and we need you to come back to camp, then you can travel into the sunset together after this mess is sorted." he explained.

"What exactly is this mess?" I asked

He paused and sighed out a name I knew Clarke didn't want to here.

"Lexa."

Clarke POV

FUCK!


End file.
